Narnia 1st Movie, Biggest Let Down

I'm finally back from all the hellish assignments thrown at me few months back. Anyway, im here writing this because i want to express how much i hated the 1st Narnia show (yup, just watched last night and got interrupted by my sleeping mum for cranking up the volume at 2am).

The movie was...TOO CHILDISH! I cant stand it when noob kids have no sense of terror or surprise. Example, when Lucy first discovered the other dimension, she did not go "WTF?!". Yeah, same goes for the rest of the noob siblings who went "wow!" and "awesome!". I mean come on, who would not go "WTF?" in these scenarios?? F*cking weird polite kids.

And then there's the gay naked horseman cum faun cum gay cum naked guy-horse cum gay...anyway, what was i saying again...?

Ah, who could have forgotten about the black bitch...err white witch (wow, tongue twister there). She's like wait, she's a he...or he's a she? She's got flat chest! And her robe is like...freaking loose that i can see what's INSIDE! Oh hell, the chocolate i was eating immediately turned stale! Take a sneak peek below (pun fully intended).



HOLY SHIT that was...ughh~ She's the same actress who played Angel Gabriel in Constantine! And i thought the angel was a male! Holy crap...

The biggest twist in the story was that the Lion/Azlan/Aslan (whateva~) came back to life and he quoted the Deep Magic. That's just lame...Ok, let's just assume that's not lame. Good guys coming back to life is normal. Then why does the White Witch, who's a witch duh, die without ever casting any spell/curse in case she dies? Why so noob? These kind of shows tipu kanak-kanak wan...Worse than those tokusatsu and super sentai shows...at least those dont have annoying kids. Shame on big cinema productions with fake lame twists.