Who's FFK-ing Who NOW?!

Chapter 1:

The month of April started off pretty well. Everything was going fine, classes going on as usual, friends making lame jokes as usual, lecturers ponteng-ing classes as usual, accidents by the road side with typical kepoh M'sians looking over, causing massive unnecessary jams as usual...everything normal lah...until I was told that we're going to Frasers Hill 2 weeks ago.

Back then, I was quite doubtful and thought twice of joining my family to go. Four reasons:
1) I'm actually following the other side of my family whom I'm not so close with.
2) Exams are nearing.
3) Frasers Hill has nothing much to offer (Im an indoor guy, u see...)
4) Afraid that I might experience dirty things...

I initially rejected to follow my family based on the reasons stated above, but after doing some thinking...give it a try lor, since I made it a point that I wont be going back there for a long time...or at least not in the near future.

1 week after that, I was informed/updated that there will be a programming test (note that it's a TEST and not EXAM) right after coming back from the trip. That's ONE DAY after the trip. And as u noe...programming is not a subject dat can be read from a book...it requires constant practice. Not to say i will study intensively la...but then...staying back home is better than sitting down and rot there, thinking of wat might the questions be...and by the time i get home, i'll be a full vegetable...

So, what i did was to tell my parents that i can't go for the trip on saturday, sunday and monday...What i got is this...

Mom: That's why i tell u not to study last minute. Now u see, u hav to rush for ur exams adi.
Me: But i've been like this all these while...now u blame me for studying last minute when u HAVE to join/organise a holiday trip in the last few weeks of my semester knowing that my exams are all coming in...
Mom: Then if dats the case, can u spend the rest of ur time studying before the trip or not?
Me: I'm not sure also. Lecturer teach until where, i study until there lor. Lecturer also always ponteng wan...

The other day, I was doing normal stuff in my room (sleeping, watching anime, chatting, music...etc...), she came in diu-ing me inside-out upside-down...

Mom: Why u got time to watch show but no time to study??
Me: What la?? Think i'm robot is it??
Mom: If you got time to watch show, u better follow us then, coz i dun think u'll be studying anyway.
Me: So, u're forcing me to go is it? Just because you hav to give face to uncle, auntie, etc etc...Just let them know i'm having a test lah.
Mom: You can't study in Frasers Hill is it??
Me: How to study there...don't tell me wana bring the whole computer there meh...and if i study there, all the others will look at me one kind la...what's the point of going like dat...waste money meh...
Mom: Ei, i tot u said ur exams are mid of may? Why suddenly got test on 2nd may wan?
Me: Sudden test lah...TEST...not EXAM...

Haih...so hard to argue with parents nowadays...

(so in the end, i FFK my family)

End of chapter 1...


Chapter 2:

Following the incident of me FFK-ing my family, I decided to make a move...to invite friends over...to 'study' =p Believe it or not =p

Chia said he wants to come on Friday to ask me stuff bout programming/assignment. I told him i cant arrange that coz i hav duty as a TA in the afternoon...he asked me to FFK my duty and 'teman' him (omg, sounds so ghey). I held back that decision of mine 1st, and began asking others to come on weekends.

Very well...Wong, Ang and KS said they will come on weekends but they're undecided as to which day yet. They said they can come...so it's set then. Since Chia said he's coming on friday, Wong, Ang and KS on weekends...i hav decided to FFK my duty last minute sending a notice to my colleagues to keep them informed of my absence.

(so in the end, i FFK my colleagues)

End of Chapter 2...


Chapter 3:

I called up Chia whether its confirmed about friday...no reply...smsed him...no reply...waited until friday oni asked him...

"Oi, why never answer my call??"
"Driving la..."
"Then y never reply my sms??"
"No credit la..."
"diu, no credit then hav phone for wat?? gimme la, diu..."
"......"
"coming today, right?"
"dowan la...busy la..."
"......................................................................"

WTFKNNBCBMCH.....................................

Basterd child Chia FFK me...damn angry...sumore he kept on pestering me to release duty and 'teman' him...teman him MY ASS...go die la u, muthafka...

Today i asked Wong, Ang and KS about the weekend plans. Jibai...
1) KS said dowan 2 come coz SCARED JAM (wtf...if scared jam why say CAN come in the 1st place??)

2) Ang said can come on Sunday, but he won't come alone. Di mana ada sugar, di situ ada semut...GTH la...now no sugar...i don't expect any semut adi lah...another good FFKer...

3) Wong said wana study at home by himself...Niama...say until like that...as if im gonna rape him if the others dont come...oh yea...i still owe them a bukake session...oh well...

Guess i'm all alone this weekend...sad...

(so in the end, i've been FFKed by all the wasted sperms...)


*sorry about my shortcut language, just don't feel like correcting them...btw, u ppl made me do this*

Got High~~Aahhhh~~

The term "sexual harassment" can be used to describe what happened to me today. I was working like it was a normal routine, dressing all formal (with tie) and serving students as they rush for their assignments (NEXT TIME DUN DO LAST MINUTE LA DIU!!!).

Same thing happened...students queue up...student prints stuff...student leave...next student comes...repeat...But hey, I noticed this girl...probably 2-3 years older than me...look quite 'leng'...but had a serious face...and approached me (what a waste...smile la a bit when u see the lengchai serving u -.-). She asked me to print this, print that, blablabla...until the last document when she required me to change the slides page number (something to do with header & footer).

I tried my best to set the number of pages accordingly but failed...and then it happened...That was when she bent down beside me...her long luscious hair gently brushing against my shoulder...her hand reached for the mouse which I was holding (luckily I pull back my hand fast fast!)...and as I watched her modifying her slides layout, I pretended to lean back on my chair and looked out of the Epson lab window to erase all my horny thoughts LOL!

Aaarrgghhh, I barely escaped the "sexual harassment" move initialised by that girl -.- But too bad she didn't know that I don't prefer older girls...hahah! Or maybe I was just paranoid...? LOL I only give away the title of "girlfriend" only to those who are younger (one or two weeks younger also not counted!), have interest in games, look abit-abit 'leng', dun do drugs/smoke, and most importantly...appreciate value in self. All these conditions are provided if she's a "V" lah LOL

So guys...don't worry...I know how it feels to be accused of sexual harassment in your workplace (especially to my two dear cousins who are still "V" and are working to seek a gf desperately...no?). So...if anything happens...just "look out of any window" and may the Force take away your sins...LOL


*Damn her perfume kills...*

Of LCLYers and Fakers

Seriously I have more serious issues regarding fakers than LCLYers. Before I start yapping away with these two things, let's see what's what in the 1st place.


LCLYers:
People who thinks that they rule over everything when he feels superior over another person.

Example 1:-
Guy A: Yor, i feel damn stress wei...
Guy B: Why la?
Guy A: Haih, my team mates la...all choose me to be the group leader bcoz I am the only one who knows what to do for assignment.
Guy B: Good la then...(feels a bit annoyed)
Guy A: Everytime also I become group leader...sien la...all a bunch of parasites...

Example 2:-
Auntie A: Eh, how's your son doing hah?
Auntie B: Oh, my son is now working in Singapore. Earning around $12,000 a month as a lawyer in XYZ firm. Got a great wife and staying in a Semi-D house by the sea. Your son leh?
Auntie A: My son? You sure you wana know about him?
Auntie B: Ya lor, tell a bit about him lah~
Auntie A: Ok ar...erm...where to start ah? Erm, he's currently earning a bit higher than your son lor...around $50,000 a month. Oh ya, forgot to mention that he's a doctor in ABC Hospital. There, you know the hospital when the Menteri visited on AIDS Awareness Day...ah, that wan lah. He now got a beautiful wife oh...from rich family sumore!
Auntie B: ...............
Auntie A: And then hor...he's saving to send his sons and daughters to a private school there. I feel very lucky to have a son like him. I pity other ah-sohs lah...hohoho!

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Fakers:
People who often fake about their true self aka liars.

Example 1: Always setting his msn status as away/busy/brb/out to lunch/on the phone even though he's not.

Example 2: Always denying the fact that he's smarter when he IS smarter.

Example 3: Acting as if he's not afraid of the dark when he shivers cold-bloodedly in a rundown abandoned house at night.

Example 4: Always trying to find an excuse to pretend that he is smarter.


Based on the above, I've tried my best to tolerate some of the above (yes, it happened to me) but deep down inside...feel like grabbing a lead pipe from the walls and shove it up his c@ndy @$$ ala "Condemned" style...

*video game kills*

Is He Noob?

Working part time as a TA isn't that bad, although sometimes I feel like I'm being degraded by my fellow mates. Why? LCLY TAs trying to show off their beautiful butt la~

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about me or my fellow mates (I wish I could, but I can't...). This post is all about an experience I will NEVER forget. You know, there's a thin line between a noob and a freshie. Freshies are those who are exposed to their new environments whereas noobs are people who makes mistakes and don't learn from them (which is closely related to being a loser). Such a simple explanation. Moving on to the story that happened today...

I was working in the Epson lab, handling the Pcounter together with K.Y. There were a few students queuing up for printing tasks. The last student was a guy who came along with his girl/friend. He asked me to print his assignment with the Gantt Chart (progress report), inquired on how much it all costs and so he paid for it. He then walked away with his assignment in hand.

Girl: Oi, you dont need to take your Gantt Chart hor?
Me: *Sweats*
Guy: Oh, forgot...sorry ar...
Me: *Smiles* It's ok...
Girl: Haih, so forgetful...

As they left, I went out of the Epson room to check on some stuff and a few minutes later, came back to clean up the printed softcopy documents on the computer desktop. That was when I realised that the guy who just left had forgotten to unplug his thumbdrive. I asked my colleague regarding his wherabouts. He said he saw the two of them walking one floor above, but when I checked they probably have moved to another floor.

Me: Wei, looks like I'm gonna have to lelong this thumbdrive if he doesn't come collect it back.
Colleague: Haha, good for you.
Me: LOL *spots guy and girl walking on the ground floor* Wei, there they are...but don't feel like chasing them lah.
Colleague: Go and chase lah...don't be so bad...
Me: Aiyo, if they're girls then I'll chase la, but they are probably couples...don't want to kacau them la ^^
Colleague: ..................
Me: Ok ok...I go...haihz...

From 3rd floor, I've been waving my hand at the couple who were on the ground floor heading towards the carpark...and the guy was looking at my direction, not sure whether he was blur or what...but what the heck, I kept on chasing...(felt like just throwing the thumbdrive at him from the point where I was standing -.-") I felt completely ignored... = =

Quickly ran ALL the way down, chased the couple until reached the carpark...call out to him so loud also he never perasan. Just before he got into his car only he noticed me...swinging the thumbdrive like a pendulum. The guy looked at me...puzzled...blur...as if he didn't recognise me...MCH...


Bloody hell, his bloody reaction so damn slow until he took 2-3 seconds to notice that I'm swinging HIS 256MB thumbdrive.


Guy: Oh, thank you so much! Sorry ar...
Me: -.-" It's ok...
Girl: Aiya, like that also forget to take, what la you. *looks at me* Ei, so sorry ar...
Me: *smile smile and rush back to the lab*

Is he noob? YES! At least she was there to make me look 'useful'.

Five Great Unrealistic Lessons

A friend of mine gave me a link to a site containing these articles...and I read those articles in disbelief because it will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER (x10) happen in our beloved home country. Why? Find out-lah~

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Yeah right...ever heard of fussy, non-lecturing lecturers in APIIT? They DON'T GIVE A DAMN about any cleaners! And here you are mentioning about them in the exam papers...and wouldn't the students and their parents sue the college for giving such a non-sensible question in the exams? Heck, I'd even bet on my small brother that this issue will appear as the headline for newspapers for such ridiculous acts. Pfft...what a bad joke if you ask me...

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The MN took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..

It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely,

Mrs. Nat King Cole.

This passage is completely BS. Get a life and look at the world today WITH YOUR EYES! The world and the society isn't what you thought it would be anymore! If the same thing happened to me, I'd not even care to look. Who knows, the person by the road side might be up to something. It is because of naive and soft-hearted people today that brings forth such incidents like robbery, kidnapping, rape and all sorts. WHY? Because they do not think before they act! If I take this case for example, the woman by the roadside MIGHT have a connection with kidnappers or robbers in her car, hiding. Let me just edit the story to give you a better understanding:

"One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The MN took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. While doing so, some robbers who were hiding in her car surrounded the white man, took away all his belongings and drove his car away. They then assaulted the young man and left him stranded in the rain. The robbers fled with the woman.

How's that? HAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a

10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

Hmm, couldn't agree more on that...but it's such a sad thing to know that we M'sians are not of that kind. Most of us bite the hand that fed us. Also, along with the 'tidak apa' attitude...what else can I say...*sigh*

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

HAHAAH!!! This article made me laugh because it reminded me of the JKR services! Aduhai pekerja binaan, sentiasa letak 'roadblock' sini dan sana, tapi buat kerja sambil lewa sampai wujud 'traffic jam'. If a person would really perform what he did in the article;

1) he will definitely NOT receive any reward from the PM /Agong / Ketua Jabatan.
2) he will be a laughing stock in the City for being a weirdo.
3) either he is stupid or he is retarded.

'Nuff said.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving when it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it, if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

"Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

It clearly states that the doctor did not give him full explanation on how blood tranfusion is done. And you are guaranteed to find lots of doctors in our beloved country who use this trick to cheat their patients/persuade them to return to the clinic after some time. Money-eating parasites...

Source

Condemned: Criminal Origins

Monolith has done it again, yet another horror action adventure FPS game called "Condemned: Criminal Origins". If shooting AI clone soldiers or destroying a huge military facility isn't your thing, then violent melee combat against psychopaths with disturbing environments might be just for you (provided if you're the kind who loves FPS games).

Hitting someone with a steel pipe never felt so much fun before. Oh wait, how about swinging the axe against someone's head? Let your imagination in you go wild as we uncover the dark secrets of "Condemned: Criminal Origins".

Click here to view video (18SG)

View at your own discretion. I am not held responsible for anything that happens especially loss of sanity. =p