Tips and Myths About Zombies

Zombies (often humanoid) are derived from those who are brought back to life but are unconscious of their behaviour. Back in those days when zombies are first introduced, they were slow and stupid, and have fetish for braaaaiiiinnnnzzz. Would you like to know more?

Zombies attack in hordes. There will be one zombie at first during the start of the outbreak, but do not, I repeat...DO NOT underestimate him/her/it! The zombie, if safety measures are not taken, will attack another individual and infect him, spreading the virus and if this is not under control, it will create a disaster no human could possibly imagine!

Myth #1: Zombie fluid are infectious and they must not enter another individual's blood stream.

Myth #2: The duration of the zombification process varies between individuals, depending on the blood type and immunity system.

Like I had mentioned, zombies are slow and stupid, so why bother? THIS is EXACTLY the kind of ignorance I'm talking about! How do you know that they cant RUN?! Modern zombies apparently have learnt the ability to rush. They know how to climb, run, clobber down doors, jump through windows and many more than you could possibly imagine. Zombies these days scare the crap out of me.

Myth #3: Zombies are attracted to high contrast light.

Myth #4: Zombies apparently become stunned in place when rock music is played.

Whether fast or slow zombies, they have a common weakness which is their brain! Dismembering or disembowelling them will not keep them down. In fact, their blood will splash around giving them a higher chance of infecting you as well.

Tip #1: Quickly reach for a weapon (anything that can be used to get to their brains) and start aiming for the head!

Important note: Beheading them will not end their misery because their brain is still whole.

Tip #2: Lighting a zombie on fire works too as long as they don't get too near you ala kamikaze.

If your partner or a friend is bitten by a zombie, quickly make decisions to isolate him or yourself from him. If he decides to stay behind to fight the horde, give him a melee weapon or a bomb preferably for him to take out as many as he can before he becomes one of them. DO NOT be a dumbf*ck and give him a gun when you need it more than him!

Tip #3: When encountered, RUN LIKE HELL!!!

Myth #5: Zombies are sensitive to quick movements and high pitch noises. Stay calm and move (and act) like a zombie to the exit as a last resort. Avoid wearing digital watches that make beeping sound hourly.

Heed these advices as one day (touch wood) a zombie outbreak may occur when you least expect it. A sign of a zombie outbreak is when you find that your parents are not at home, and the whole street is empty, cars parked in the middle of the road, house gates opened wide, blood smeared across windows, and crows flocking on street lamps and tension wires.

Be prepared, always remember these tips and choose your weapons and friends wisely...