Next-Gen Joystick!

Based on the knowledge we've got from A.R.M.P.I.T. (Already Retarded Malaysian Private Institute of Technology) college, our creative group had got together, thinking up of a new product to be publicized. We've thought about it day and night, we've shed blood, sweat, and tears together just to revolutionize the gaming world today for a better tomorrow. The new product is called...The Kukulatre™ (Pronounced as: coo-coo-later)

The Kukulatre™ is the next generation joystick used for most flight simulation computer games and XXX games. It is a more ergonomically shaped joystick, mounted on a more stable and 'round' base. Users can finally have the real deal of being there when they want to.

Example #1: A flight simulation game would now seem FAR more realistic than before. When gamers start to get a good grip of the Kukulatre™, the smooth rubbery texture of the stick gives them a great feel of what they'd actually expect when they fly a jet fighter. The buttons are also strategically located on the stick to ensure that the gamers will have full 100% control of the virtual aircraft.
What's important: A great feel + ergonomically designed + convenience = great experience!

Example #2: An XXX game would now be brought to the 'state-of-the-art' condition with the help of the Kukulatre™. All sex perverts that had actually tried playing XXX games on their PC would normally say, "Argh! It's the same old thing...what's the big deal..." The Kukulatre™ is here to PROVE you wrong! The Kukulatre™ manages to capture the attention of hardcore gamers now that it has the vibrate function (and i mean literally 'hardcore'). It also delivers 100% satisfaction to all sex perverts/sadists because the new enhanced joystick, The Kukulatre™, even has the 'side panels' along the rubber coated stick that can be pulled up and down repeatedly. Some XXX games require gamers to, instead of tapping keys to increase the level of orgasm, pull the panel up and down repeatedly very quickly in order to reach the "oh-gawd-i'm-coming" level.
What's important: A great feel + ergonomically designed + convenience = great PLEASURE!

The Kukulatre™ comes in two (2) designs:

The male:-
This design focuses more on the stability of the stick while it is constantly 'pulled up and down'. The base has a wider area than the other design, which makes it a better choice for more aggressive and tensed gameplay.

The female:-
This feminine yet adorable design enables female users (although rarely) to frantically 'enjoy the moment of their lifetime'...virtually. This female design will be manufactured 50% less of the amount than the male design because according to statistics...women play less flight simulation games than men. The base of this design has two (2) ball-like structures to support it as well as to give pleasure when the Kukulatre™ is used.

So quick! Get your own Kukulatre™ now! What are you waiting for? Call this toll-free number at: 1-800-i-want-a-kuku-latre-right-now. We're sure to deliver it to you in less than 24 hours! Call us back once you've received your next-gen joystick because we're eager to know the feedbacks! Also available at major IT centres near you. Thanks for your time spent, and have a nice day!